For those of you who haven’t checked out the Birchbox, please do. Take my advice- teach a man to fish, feed him until he gets sick of fishing; count your chickens while they lay eggs; stitching wastes time period -AND sign up for the Birchbox because it will make your month each time it arrives.
What is the Birchbox? I was a lost soul until last month when Stacy told me about it. It’s this neat box that arrives to your doorstep once a month, full of little samples. I got a nail polish, dark circle remover, volumizing shampoo, moisturizer, and a stationary sample. Like all good things in life- signing up for Pinterest, the last Harry Potter movie, souffles- there is a wait list, but it’s worth it.
So, not only did I get my BIRCHBOX yesterday, The Bachelorette began last night, too. I haven’t been a fan of the series since I graduated from college, but I give it a chance every time it starts and usually lose interest by the third episode. Let’s face it: I’m a HUGE fan of LOVE. TRUE LOVE. How can this show have such a low success rate? How? The formula for true love is all there.
1) Pick an above average looking, single person with a bad streak in love. Meet Emily. She lost her first Fiance to a plane crash (important later) and then finds out she is pregnant a week later. It is sad, actually. She goes on The Bachelor and wins- yay! Brad Womack proposes, and she says “yes.” Happily ever after. Just kidding. Brad is a douche. Round three for love. Let’s root for her!
2) Throw 25 guys in a house and have them all duke it out for her affection. What’s true love without a little competition?
I will give ABC a small applause for introducing a “diverse” cast this season. ABC has been getting a little heat for not being racially diverse on this series. Welcome, Lerone! I bet you are contractually obligated to represent the minorities. You’ll make it far…
Aw, ABC was so close. Toodles, Lerone. I guess you and Emily were not a good fit. Sad face.
Other splendiferous moments included-
Grandma showing up. Eliminated. Dude, it’s creepy to show up like a Grandma. We get the reference, but your comedic timing sucked.
The man with 6 kids gets eliminated. Really? I knew something was up when Emily was having one on one time with him, and he said that he had 6 kids, but the camera cut away. I was like… wait, did he mean 6 real kids? Does he count his dogs? Wait, ABC!
ABC gives Emily two gems- a Race Car Driver (Imaginary Hat, ABC) and a guy that shows up in a helicopter. Flying and racing are things that Emily probably really likes to talk about and find in a mate.
Ugh, there was a “Party MC” who douched his way up to meet Emily by dancing like a fucktard. He is from New Jersey. Poor New Jersey. The people that show up in Reality TV really do nothing but further the stereotype that New Jersey sucks. I’m really sorry.
*Side Note. I have to stop writing this blog because I am realizing that the show was terrible. Thoughts?