Spoiler Alert… It’s Mother’s Day!


I’ve spent the better part of the day annoying Tara with “Spoiler Alert” text messages…

SPOILER ALERT… Amelia is watching a Harry Potter Marathon.

SPOILER ALERT… I will not be riding my bike today.

SPOILER ALERT… Ginny is possessed by Lord Voldemort.

You may have the impression that I have not been productive today. Alas, I’ve been up since 7:30 am baking, cooking, and enjoying my time with Abuela. She is actually the reason I woke up so early so morning. I woke to her in our backyard, knocking the neighbor’s mangos out of his tree with a stick. It was a Cuban Mop to be precise- it’s essentially a large, wooden stick with which she mops our home. She tried to teach the cleaning lady to use it, but obviously… the cleaning lady had a real mop. SPOILER ALERT… the cleaning lady doesn’t mop now because Abuela ONLY USES THIS CUBAN MOP. So, yes. Abuela was knocking mangos out of the tree. It’s just me and Abuela today. My Mother is a Buddhist Nun- fully ordained last weekend in Northern California. Yes, my Mom is probably crazier than yours; I love her all the same. Essentially most of the women in my family are cray. I have had a productive day though! Believe it or not.

Like I said, I woke up early this morning and baked scones. I’ve had the worst luck with scones, and this is the third time that I bake them. They came out AMAZING. Cranberry- Orange Scones. DELISH!

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Cranberry- Orange Scones. Yum. Wait for it…

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SPOILER ALERT… They were from a can.

Okay… Okay… Technically I didn’t bake these from scratch. Who cares. This brand is AMAZE BALLS. I haven’t baked anything from Immaculate Bakery that I didn’t like. Try their Triple Chocolate Chip Cookies.

I whipped up some Zucchini Cakes. These were from scratch. I love, love Zucchini and usually have a lot on hand at all times. These are very simple.

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Amelia’s Zucchini Cakes: 

2 large Zucchinis- grated; really make sure you give them a good squish to get rid of all that water

1 egg- beaten

Panko Bread Crumbs- Obviously, you can use whatever bread crumbs you would like. Hmm… I’m sure they will taste good even without bread crumbs.

Some grated cheese of your choice- I used Fontina because that’s what I had

Sriracha- or any hot sauce you may have. Omit if you are a pansy. Just Kidding. Abuela doesn’t even like hot things.

Salt and Pepper

Oil for Frying- I used Sunflower Oil.

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and make little patties. Fry on each side 2-3 minutes, until golden brown. EAT! They are surprisingly healthy, I think. Agree to disagree.

I bought a Mini Pie Maker the other day at Macy’s for $10 and used it today for the first time. I made 4 mini Peach Pies. They turned out pretty cute, AND even better, very tasty.

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EAT ME!

I planted Abuela a beautiful garden for Mother’s Day/ Birthday this year with enormous help from a nice chap at Lowe’s. SPOILER ALERT… Perennials and Perineum are not the same things. $250 later Abuela has a nice flowery patch on the side of the house. Perfect for the stupid lizards to camp out in.

Happy Mother’s Day Everyone! Especially to what I like to refer to as the Powerhouse Lesbian Couple that raised me- My Mom and Abuela.

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